Whiskey Wednesday

I want to thank you for being my best office tool
Daily you provide me with more than the tournament pool
From writing on boxes to covering up client names
You constantly flow with ease and never play games
With your two tips you can handle all given tasks
Like signing cards and notes and paper-mashay masks
For my revenge on an enemy, I give you first place
Let them pass out, then draw penises in their face
You have made me and my friends laugh a few times
When we use you at night to commit our petty crimes
Like the time Suzie Lou received 200 phone calls
When we wrote she sold kittens on bathroom stalls
But there is a better one yet, that’s not so domestic
Like posting a homophobe boss’ number at the majestic
That was a close call, because we almost got canned
But it did end overtime and talks about the promise land
Throughout our days we have enjoyed our fun
Sometimes your impact is more dangerous than a gun
But most of all I enjoy a usefulness that no one disagrees
Your ability to get me high while I work on RFP’s