Monday, February 12, 2007

This Week in Crazy

When most of us chose to spend our Sunday recovering from the previous night’s bender, others were perfecting the art of Crazy. An area Sapulpa resident decided to skip church this past dreary Sunday and make a trip to Priscilla's. I guess he must not have found his perfect selection of midget porn or “Hot and Horny Holy Rollers” video on the counter. In his fit of bipolar rage, he ransacked the adult novelty store and proceeded to slug a female police officer, but alas, with no success. Angered by his failures he sped off in his Ford Ranger to take on the highway with some flat tires, only to run into more problems.
Once confronted by the majority of the Sapulpa Police Department and some Highway Patrol cars, a standoff ensued. What should have been an easy arrest turned into a thirty-minute standoff because the suspect was believed to be holding a gun. The weapon turned out to be a twelve-inch piece of plastic. Okay, stop right there and think. A man ransacks an adult novelty store, than holds up a twelve-inch piece of plastic that cops thing is a gun. Basically, the man presented a twelve inch black dildo. There is no denying this is a weapon, but fortunate for police I doubt it was loaded.
The next serious of events is what earns this man a blog posting for “This Week in Crazy”. According to the KOTV 6 website, "He called it a scepter from God, that's why he was waving it around at us, he was blessing our officers," stated Sapulpa Police Captain Mike Reed.
Honestly, I can kind of identify with the guy that a penis is a “Scepter from God”, but I’m not sure dildos are.
Thank you Crazy Bipolar Sapulpa Dude for the entertainment and blessing the beloved Sapulpa Police department with your twelve-inch dildo (Scepter from God). May God bless your soul and Ron Jeremy bless all your penises.

If you don’t believe me please see.


At 2/15/2007 2:25 PM, Blogger Jared said...

So I have an update to this posting. I discovered that the stand off wasn't for a half an hour, but for an hour and a half. I also learned that the bipolar guy use to be a salesman for a friend of mine's company and he had to walk the guy out when they fired him.


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